


Miracle Valentine Shenanigans

by herdustisverypretty



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Crack, M/M, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 18:50:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10542429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herdustisverypretty/pseuds/herdustisverypretty
Summary: The Generation of Miracles turn up one at a time on Valentine's Day to confess their love to Kuroko.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt from spiderrealm on tumblr: How about the GoM each vying for Kuroko's attention with their respective teams witnessing (also from their team's point of view)? I love indulging in this daydream, I'd love to see how you write it out! :D
> 
> It turned out really long so I'm putting it here. I hope you enjoy this! It's really silly lmao.
> 
> Set the VD after the Winter Cup, so they're still in their first year of high school.

Valentine’s Day in Japan, usually a day when girls confess to their male crushes, giving them homemade chocolates. Kagami was more used to Valentine’s Day in America though, with the guy giving presents, so he wasn’t really _that_ surprised when Kise turned up at practice with a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates. His captain was with him and looking about ready to murder the next person who so much as breathed on him.

“What are _you_ doing here?” Hyuuga asked them with narrowed eyes.

“Where’s Kurokocchi?” Kise asked, peeking over Hyuuga’s shoulder into the gym.

“What the hell do you want him for?” Hyuuga’s eyes were now aimed at the very romantic gifts in Kise’s hands.

“Just, let me in, will you!?”

“I’m really sorry about this,” Kasamatsu mumbled, pressing his fingertips into his temples.

“Kise!” Kagami called out as Kise started crossing the room. “Ready to try challenging me again!? Your defeat in the Winter Cup wasn’t that long ago, you ready to get your ass kicked already?”

“Not today, Kagamicchi,” Kise said brusquely, walking straight past him and heading towards where Kuroko was at the side of the room talking to Furihata.

Kagami followed him, curious as to what was about to unfold.

“Kasamatsu, what the hell is this about?” he asked quietly.

“Just- Just watch,” Kasamatsu said with a deep sigh.

“Kise-kun,” Kuroko said, and Kagami almost laughed at how utterly annoyed he looked.

“Kurokocchi! This will finally be the year you accept my love!” Kise sang. He dropped down onto one knee and held out the roses and chocolates. “Please accept my feelings!”

Kagami nearly choked on his own tongue.

Kuroko just closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. “I’m sorry, Kise-kun, but I have to turn you down again.”

“Again?” Kagami asked, stepping closer. “What do you mean _again_? How many times has he done this?”

“This will be the third time,” Kuroko said.

“ _WHAT_!?” Kagami screeched.

“The first time was Valentine’s Day at the end of our second year of middle school, then in our third year again. This will be the third confession,” Kuroko explained.

“Kurokocchi! Please don’t turn me down so quickly! You haven’t even considered me!”

Kuroko just stared blankly. “I’m sorry, Kise-kun,” he repeated.

“Okay, Kise, you had your chance, now let’s get out of here,” Kasamatsu said, grabbing the back of Kise’s shirt and pulling him to his feet.

“Waah! Senpaaaaiii!” Kise wailed.

After such a crushing rejection, the Kaijou ace was quite easily herded out of the gym by Riko with the help of Kasamatsu, and sent on his not so merry way. Kagami decided to forget about it for now, he’d ask Kuroko about it more later. He started to practice again, when there appeared to be more commotion.

“What are _you_ doing here now?”

“Shin-chan is here to confess his undying love!”

“ _TAKAO_!”

“Psssh!”

“This is the weirdest practice we’ve ever had,” Hyuuga muttered. “Just go in.”

Kagami ambled back over to Kuroko as he was approached by Midorima and a giggling Takao.

“Ahem, Kuroko.”

Kuroko again looked quite done with life. “Hello, Midorima-kun.”

Midorima produced a box from his bag, holding it out to Kuroko. “This is your lucky item for today. It was an iPhone, so I bought you the latest model.”

Kagami was about to start screaming, but he was in such shock that he couldn’t muster up the sound. Furihata looked like he was about to faint.

“That’s… very kind of you, Midorima-ku-”

“Please accept this gift as well as my feelings for you,” Midorima said. Kagami had never seen his face that red before. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Kuroko gently pushed Midorima’s hand away. “I’m sorry, Midorima-kun, but I can’t accept this, both the phone and your feelings,” he said softly.

“I understand. I will try again next year,” Midorima nodded.

“What!? Shin-chan! No, you gotta fight for him!”

“We’re leaving, Takao.”

“Hey!” Takao screeched as Midorima dragged him away.

Riko and Hyuuga walked over to the group of first years, both looking incredibly confused and also incredibly concerned.

“What is going on here?” Riko asked.

Kuroko sighed. “It’s Valentine’s Day.”

“We know, but why do your old teammates keep turning up with love confessions?” Hyuuga asked.

Kuroko was about to respond when the gym door slid open loudly.

“Yo, Tetsu.”

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?” Hyuuga screamed.

“Actually, this is pretty funny,” Riko said with a hand over her mouth to hide her grin.

“Aomine-kun,” Kuroko said with a small sigh. “It’s nice to see you.”

Aomine was being trailed after by Momoi, who looked like she was holding in squeals. She spotted Riko’s similar expression and hurried over to her, the pair immediately giggling to each other as if they were suddenly the best of friends.

Aomine stepped up to Kuroko and eyed him up and down for a moment. “We should fuck,” he casually said.

This time Furihata _did_ faint.

Kuroko cried, “Furihata-kun!” right as Kagami yelled, “Furi!”. The first year duo hurried to his side, helping him sit up.

“Geez, you’re as bad as Ryou,” Aomine muttered. “Okay, now that’s outta the way, what do you say, Tetsu?”

“Aomine-kun, this is hardly appropriate.”

“It’s Valentine’s Day, you know this is our thing.”

Kuroko sighed. “I know.”

“Sooooo? Am I gonna finally score?”

Kagami noticed Hyuuga opening and closing his mouth repeatedly, meanwhile Riko and Momoi were giggling and blushing, waving their hands around in excitement as they jumped on the spot. Kagami only had the thought of ‘girls really are weird’.

“No, you are not going to score, Aomine-kun,” Kuroko said. “And please stop sending me inappropriate text messages.”

“Dai-chan! What’s this? I’ve not heard about text messages!”

Momoi ran forward and snatched Aomine’s phone right out of his pocket. He didn’t even seem to care as she started scrolling through his messages. She suddenly screamed loudly and threw the phone at Aomine’s head.

“ _Ow_! What the fuck was that for, Satsuki!?”

“I DID NOT NEED TO SEE YOUR DICKPICS TO TETSU-KUN!” Momoi screamed.

“What the fuck?” Kagami said, trying to stifle a laugh.

“Then you shouldn’ta stolen my phone! Sheesh!” Aomine muttered, swiping the device up off the floor.

“Okay, okay,” Riko said, fighting off a smile. “I think we’ve had enough. You two should probably go now.”

“Yeah whatever, I’ll get in your pants one day, Tetsu!” Aomine yelled over his shoulder as Momoi pushed him out the door.

“Wow, your old teammates are really wild!” Kagami said with a laugh.

Kuroko nodded. “They really are.”

Practice went uninterrupted for a while after that. But at last, the peace came to an end once again.

“Taiga!” a voice called from the other side of the gym.

“Tatsuya!? What are you doing here!?” Kagami asked as Himuro hurried over to him with a wide smile.

“Atsushi had a little trip he wanted to make,” Himuro answered.

“Don’t tell me-”

“Kuro-chin.”

Kuroko turned around once again to be presented with Murasakibara holding out a cake to him. It was actually a really fucking beautiful cake too, Kagami thought, covered in sugar roses in shades of red and pink. In pink icing, the words ‘be mine, Kuro-chin’ were written neatly in English.

“Did you help him with the English?” Kagami muttered in Himuro’s ear.

“Yep! He was very proud of this creation,” Himuro said.

“Even if you won’t accept my feelings, please take the cake at least. It’s heavy and I don’t want to take it back on the train,” Murasakibara said.

Kuroko nodded. “I suppose I can do that at least. As a favour. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“I figured that’s what you’d say.”

Himuro handed Murasakibara a box, which he then put the cake into to hand to Kuroko. As Kuroko took the box, Murasakibara leaned down and kissed the top of his head.

“I’ll try again next year, I guess,” he said. Kuroko nodded, staring at the floor with a blank expression. Murasakibara leaned down and licked his cheek with a grin before turning back to Himuro. “Okay, we can go, Muro-chin.”

Himuro laughed and gave Kagami a hug before he followed after Murasakibara. “See you later, Taiga!” he called out.

Kagami walked over to where Kuroko was setting the cake down on one of the side benches.

“He fucking _LICKED YOUR CHEEK_. DID YOU NOT REALISE HE DID THAT?”

“I’m quite aware of it, Kagami-kun,” Kuroko said weakly. “I don’t suppose you have a disinfecting wipe anywhere?”

Kagami snorted.

By this point, the whole team was expecting the next arrival, and they were all actually gathered around, pretending to practice but not really paying attention. Kuroko appeared to be incredibly annoyed, his movements stiff and slightly aggressive as he practiced his phantom shot.

The door slid open once more, and everyone turned around in excited anticipation to see the entire Rakuzan team regulars there. Akashi was leading them, followed by Mibuchi, Hayama, and Nebuya, the three of them clutching onto Mayuzumi and dragging him along.

“Jesus fuck, let me go, you fuckers!”

“Sshhhh, Chi-chan! We have to support Sei-chan! Be a good teammate!”

“I’m not even on the fucking team anymore! I quit after the Winter Cup!”

“That’s irrelevant! You’re still one of us!”

“Tetsuya,” Akashi said smoothly. Kuroko eyed him and his posse wearily. “I suspect you know why I’m here.”

“Of course, Akashi-kun.”

Akashi smiled and stepped in front of Kuroko, right in his personal space, though Kuroko didn’t seem that bothered, if at all. Akashi produced a small jewellery box from his pocket, and held it between them. Kuroko just stared at it as Akashi opened it. The whole Seirin team craned their necks to get a better view. Riko was holding up her phone and trying to film.

“What’s this?” Kuroko asked.

“It’s my mother’s engagement ring,” Akashi said.

Riko squealed.

“Why are you giving me this, Akashi-kun…?”

“Because, you’re important to me,” Akashi answered. He pulled the ring from its position in the box, and picked up Kuroko’s hand. He slid it onto his left ring finger. “It doesn’t have to mean anything to you now, but I’m hoping it will one day.” Kuroko was silent as Akashi kissed his hand. “That’s all. You’ll contact me if you change your mind, yes?”

Kuroko nodded, though Kagami got the feeling it was less a nod of ‘yes I’ll do that’ and more a nod of ‘yeah that’s never gonna happen but I’ll say this to make you feel better’. That’s how he was translating it at least.

Akashi and his teammates left, and the Seirin members started giggling and chatting about the strange turn of events.

“I can’t believe he fuckin proposed to you,” Kagami said in amazement.

“He _didn’t_ ,” Kuroko insisted.

“Yeah, then why are you still wearing his ring?”

Kuroko blushed. “Be quiet, Kagami-kun.”

**Author's Note:**

> I reeeeaaally wanted Mayuzumi there, so I had the other Rakuzan regulars force him to come lmao. BE A SUPPORTIVE FRIEND MAYU DAMMIT. YOU KNOW U LOV AKASHI DEEP DOWN.
> 
> Please let me know if you enjoyed~ I would appreciate that. 
> 
> This was really fun to write. ( ﾟ▽ﾟ)/


End file.
